apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
