Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
