The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
