I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
