Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
