I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
