Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
