i would punch a child for taco bell
I think im going to throw up on grandma
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
