i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
