i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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