Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
