Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
