Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
