why didn't you poke me back
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize