her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Randomize
