U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The uberlube is also flammable
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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