Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
