we have pet lesbian snakes
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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