My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
bring money and cleavage
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
