my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
