Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
