goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
