my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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