it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
