I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bring money and cleavage
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
