I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
