Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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