best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
