dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
