Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize