Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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