She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
