ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
