come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
