Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
