I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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