Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My dick has a subreddit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
