she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm passing your future prison.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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