you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
