So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
