i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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