accomplished twins. life is a go
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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