More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
