I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
