new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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