My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
