eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
