she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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