I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Houston, we have a blender
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
