Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we should paint friendship bongs
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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