i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize