Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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