Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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