she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
