You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
