just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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