im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
