Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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