I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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