I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
