ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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