Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
