Just fell off a train. Bad.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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