we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
