he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i can't believe i had my finger in that
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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