Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
