JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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