i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
