:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
