Duck Duck Cougar?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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